B. Happier

End of the Road…I think.

January 11, 2012 | Posted by sstanback | Comments Off

Message for January 11, 2012

It’s been a few days since I written. During this time, I have experienced some painful Braxton Hicks and lots of pressure. I’m also in my nesting mode preparing for your arrival. Your first set of laundry is done. I can’t wait to put these sweet little outfits on you. We are 100% prepare for your arrival. Now I just got to get the rest of us ready for this life transition.

Today I made the decision that you are my last child. Your dad and I decided that 3 kids are enough. I’m not 100% confident about this decision so there is still time to change my mind. It’s very intimidating to make a decision to sterilize my body by having a tubal ligation. But I will turn 38 years old in April and I can’t see wanting to have another child at age 40. I will have my sweet little boy and my sweet baby girl so I think I’m done…I think.

I can’t wait to see you. I fantasize about how you will look and your personality. I hope you are beautiful, healthy and happy. I am confident I will think you are regardless.

BTW…Today I confirmed your eviction papers. Your arrival is planned for Friday, February 3rd at 10:00 am unless you have a better plan.

Be Fearless

January 4, 2012 | Posted by sstanback | Comments Off

Message for January 4, 2012

Today we had our doctors’ appointments – one with the perinatologist and the other with our regular OB. We are doing well and on track for your delivery in less than 30 days. At this point, we will see a doctor every week until I deliver. I’m excited to see your face; but, afraid of the pain and unknown challenges.

I hope you approach life fearlessly. Never be afraid to be who you are. Never be afraid to chase your dreams, no matter how crazy they may seem to others. If I am lucky enough to teach you this life lesson, I will feel like I did my job as your mom. Fear has been my biggest struggle in life. I don’t want you to inherit this from me.

Always live your life without fear. I will always be there to catch you if you fall. Always.

Sleep is good.

January 3, 2012 | Posted by sstanback | Comments Off

Message for January 3, 2012

I am so sleepy today. I really wish I could take a nap; but your brother is home with me and NEVER NAPS. I hope you are a good sleeper. Sleep is important. Since I’m experiencing back pain right now and feel too sleepy to write more, I will sign off for today. I love you more than you know. Tomorrow, we visit our doctors. I should know your tentative birthday tomorrow. YAY!

Go With the Flow

January 2, 2012 | Posted by sstanback | Comments Off

Message for January 2, 2012

It’s been a good day. You are extremely active; which I am thankful for but it does hurt. Today, I gave your brother a lot of quality time while giving daddy a much needed break. I’m learning the importance of going with the flow. I wish I could have written more today; but I needed to take care of others. So today, my message flower for you is to let go and go with the flow of life.

Also you have me a new stretch mark today.

Flowers for Zoe

January 1, 2012 | Posted by sstanback | Comments Off

During the holiday season with my family, I decided that one of my New Year resolutions will be to follow through with some of my goals. One goal I struggle with is to write more.

By February 1, 2012, my daughter, Zoe (middle name TBD) Stanback, will be born if everything goes according to the plan. To support my writing goal and to welcome my daughter into the world, I decided to do a 30 day blog entitled “Flowers for Zoe” – a message to my children to live their best life. For the next 30 days, I will write about my journey to delivery, thoughts about being a parent and my hopes for my children.

I hope anyone who reads this blog takes something positive from it, even if it’s just a laugh or a kindred spirit. Regardless, Happy New Year, live your best life and ALWAYS B. HAPPIER!

Message for January 1, 2012

30 days to go before I pop. Well more like before I get sliced open and then you are yanked out. Ok, I know that is kind of gross; but, you should know that your Mommy is silly at times. To start this blog, one of the first things I want you to know is that you will come into this world wanted and loved. When you come home, there is so much love waiting for you. I hope you never take this for granted. There are so many children who don’t have this but YOU DO. Treasure this always. Here is a quick summary of who you will meet during your first few days:

Mommy – That’s me. You have kicked my ass for the past 9 months. Morning sickness, gestational diabetes, Braxton Hicks, yep it hurts carrying you; but I think you are worth it. J
Daddy – This may be the first face you see. He loves you already. He can be sarcastic at times; but you get used to it.
ZJ – This is your brother. He is a wild one. This one will be the loudest one in our home. He can be whiny but sweet…bossy but loving. At the end of the day, he will always have your back. He better at least.
Kylie – This is your sister. I’m sure you will like her and LOVE going through her room. She is just relieved that you’re a girl and not a boy. You will not get to see her every day; but she is always here in our hearts.
Nana – Daddy’s mommy. She loves you. Hopefully you will spend a lot of time with Nana. (hint, hint Nana)
Grandmommy and Granddaddy – Mommy’s parents. They love you too. If mommy and daddy say no, these two will say yes. J Watch out for Grandmommy though. She will always try to dress you up like a baby doll. You have been warned.

Then there is Grandmommy Gerry, Uncle Vino, Auntie Lynn, and so many more who love you already. You will meet them soon enough.

Hopefully you will one day understand this first message – you are loved more than you know.

Workplace Lesson Learned: Don’t take it personal.

September 12, 2011 | Posted by sstanback | Comments Off

Sometimes your ego gets the best of you, especially in the workplace. When people can’t see your gifts, sometimes we take it personally. We have to learn how to check your ego and emotions at the door. You also need to recognize when we have stayed too long in a stressful situation. Most likely the situation is bigger than you. Everyone sees the world differently.

When you think your ego is taking over and there is no solution to the conflict, make your exit strategy with calmness and grace. Always be a team player with a positive attitude until the next door opens.

A Place to B. Happier

June 22, 2011 | Posted by sstanback | Comments Off

I can’t lie. I am so tired of hitting the same fucking brick wall. I feel like I’m lost on a highway and keep slamming into the same freaking wall. What signs did I miss on this highway called Life?

Ok. I’m done with my bitch fest. And I feel better now. It’s time to go sit in one of my favorite places – my garden.

One lesson I have learned in life is to redirect my negative energy into something useful and productive. My outlet of choice is gardening. A couple of years ago, I created my first garden. I grew cucumbers, squash, zucchini, and all types of herbs. I was so excited when I harvested my first cucumber. It was huge. It made me feel empowered. It also reminded me how precious the earth was. I was producing life and nourishing it. Since then, I have continued to drown my sorrows, boredom and need to nurture into my little garden. It’s the best form of therapy and Prozac. Growing up, I never really appreciated the gardens my grandmother, aunt and uncle used to have. I was destined for city living and being a strong, urban woman on the move. Now that I’m older and a little wiser, I realize how important it is to return to simple things in life, like playing in dirt, planting a seed and smelling a flower. My creative spirit always opens up during these quiet moments I commune with my garden.

Today, I ran my finger through my lavender plants and instantly felt calm. My little garden of zen is my favorite place to restore and refocus when I see that brick wall approaching ahead.

Lessons from Lady O

May 27, 2011 | Posted by sstanback | 3 Comments

Lessons from Lady O

The past few days, I have been living and breathing Oprah Winfrey. I’ve always admired who she is and what she has done. I haven’t always watched the show regularly and at times, I have disagreed with her on a few things. But regardless, she has made me believe in goodness and that anything is possible. I can’t wait to see how her life will continue to shine.

As I sat and watched the last show, I decided to really listen to her message and create a life guideline on how I will live my life. Here is what I created:

I will listen to my inner voice and follow my light on faith. I will simply be me and trust that God has a plan for me in this wonderful universe.
I will accept responsibility for my life – my energy, my actions, my thoughts and blame no one else for my imperfections and challenges. They are there for me to learn. If I know better, I will do better.
I will release my shame for feeling unworthy because life happened to me. I am enough and worthy just as I am. Not a soul on earth can take that from me.
I will put what’s real in proper perspective, that being my sources for happiness and joy. Money, recognition, judgments do not matter. Really… they don’t.
I will accept my grace, the flow in my life. Every answer is in my heart and soul. I only need to listen and accept the direction. The whispers of this flow have turned into brick walls telling me to stop and redirect my path. It’s time I listen now.
I will wake up each morning with gratitude in my heart. God has been so good to me. I hope to spread that goodness to someone else.
Last…I will speak my heart and allow others to feel whatever they feel. We all see the world very differently; however each person’s view holds the same value. We don’t have to agree; but we can respect one every person’s voice and personal choice.

I wish everyone an “Oprah” in their life. Believe in goodness and the impossible always.

THE WEEK OF ME: Day 2-4

April 11, 2011 | Posted by sstanback | Comments Off

The past weekend has been filled with wine, fun, good food and lots of love. Then life throws you one of those unexpected surprises.

The freakin’ AC unit stopped working last night! Did it not understand that this is the Week of Me?

After a long day of costly AC repairs (ouch!), a dental appointment (double ouch!!), and growing tasks list, I had to disappear into my favorite sanctuary…my scalding hot shower. Nothing restores your spirit like a super long, hot shower. Nothing. My showers always feel like the world stops for a few golden moments.

Graciously, my hubby took over the nightly routine with our little hell of wheels and I indulged into my secret retreat, complete with my delicious scents and creamy suds. I will share two of my bath favorites body with you:

Trader Joe’s Tea Tree Tingle Body Wash with Peppermint, Tea Tree and Eucalyptus

If you have allergies like me or simply love the fresh, clean scent of peppermint and eucalyptus, you must try this body wash. It gives you a cool, tingly effect and clears up your sinuses in a snap. Better yet, it’s only $3.99 at Trader Joe’s. I only wish they had a body cream to compliment this amazing body wash. The arousing scent is the perfect way to start your day whether you are a man or woman!

Carol’s Daughter Roses and Honey Body Set (Cleansing Cream and Shea Souffle’)

My friends know I love making my own soaps and body butters. Well, Carol’s Daughter is my role model. Once again, she has raised the bar with this amazing new product. The sweet, soft scent is simply lovely. Even my husband loves this combo! I tried to ban him from my stash; however I’ve noticed that it is dwindling away quickly (major side eye.) The combo is definitely a splurge, priced at $31.50 for 8 oz size containers; but sometimes you have to treat yourself.

Now that I feel like a new woman again, I will rest and face a new day tomorrow. So far this Week of Me has proven to be a success. I will see what life throws at me on Tuesday.

THE WEEK OF ME

April 8, 2011 | Posted by sstanback | Comments Off

Day 1

Last night during my weekly session with my professional coach, she made a statement that gave me today’s A-HA moment.

“You are not very nice to yourself. You seem to love and encourage everyone else, except the most important person…yourself.”

I didn’t have a rebuttal. The only thing I could say was “I know.”

Pause. Exhale.

Today while I was driving my son to school, this reflection really bothered me. Actually it has always bothered me but today I decided it’s time to take action against this craziness inside of me. On April 16^th, I will celebrate my 37^th birthday. So I decided to nurture myself daily for the next week leading up to my birthday. I have a close friend who always declares a national holiday the week of her birthday (Love you Sheek Week!) I am going to follow her lead and do the same from myself. Therefore, I officially declare the start of THE WEEK OF ME.

During the glorious week of self love and indulgence, I will spend time daily simply loving me. Here my bucket list for this week:

Buy myself something daily. I’m really excited about this.
Read Taming Your Gremlin by Richard Carson. It’s time to kill this M@#% F$&@!
Exercise daily and take care of my body. I count sex as exercise so watch out Hubby. Maybe we will make a baby.
Kick my stress to the curb. I am so freakin’ tired of worrying about shit. I feel like Chicken Little… “The sky is falling!!!!” My stress will be there next week.
Enjoy simple things like going to the park, watching brainless TV, paint, make homemade ice cream, get a manicure, make a body cream, play with my son, sing badly, dance worse, be creative, just simply B. HAPPIER!
Simply take each day as it comes and discover something new about myself and this world we live in. I consider this to be the most important part of the week.

Life is so short. If you really want change, it starts within. This change will start with the WEEK OF ME. Declare your week and live your best life.